Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Our Child of Light

 This Easter, I was absolutely and certifiably a blubbering mess!   Mind you, each holiday brings some tears because I miss my mom and my eldest daughter usually can't come home from CA for Easter.  But this year was different.  My mind was flooded with the thought that Baby Charlotte's miracle was like the miracle of Christ's resurrection.  
(background post   http://wwmdwhatwouldmariado.blogspot.com/2013/01/sharing-miracle_19.html)

Was it arrogant of me to go there?  I felt almost guilty (Catholic guilt w/ a little Italian guilt smeared on top-Lol) equating Charlotte's awakening to Jesus rising from the dead. But to me it was uncanny and made the story of Christ's suffering, death and ascension so tangible I could feet it down to my bones.  After all, Charlotte suffered, was brain dead and awoke in a miraculous style. My faith tells me, Charlotte is alive because I believe that Jesus is alive! One could not happen without the other.  

My feelings were so strong I could not contain nor hide them.  I cried all night and throughout the morning church service- couldn't help it! Overwhelmed with gratitude I raised my heart in silent prayer, "I called Your Name, You heard my cry, Thank you, Lord for saving Charlotte, Thank you, Lord for saving me."  I continued to cry on & off throughout the day to my poor relatives who came to celebrate Easter!  Over & over I recounted the agony of Charlottes near death and the inexplicable joy when she miraculously woke up.   I thought, "OMG- now I "get" the true meaning of Easter!"

Charlotte, Our Child of Light

As many of you know, I spent last weekend with Charlotte. I tell you there is nothing more life- affirming than being in the presence of this blessed child. I would like to share the most poignant moment.  It wasn't when she squealed at Elmo or fed herself for the first time or fell asleep in my arms. It was when I carried her outside into the yard. I fully expecting her to shield her face from the bright sun by burying her head in my shoulder.  But instead, Charlotte intuitively stretched upward and boldly lifted her face to the sun. She closed her eyes and just let the warm rays stream across her face.  She was very still and peaceful as the beams of light kissed her ivory skin.  

I was awestruck!   It was so surreal like she knew exactly what she was doing.  Charlotte stayed like that for a minute or so, clearly experiencing what I can only describe as a sacred, intimate connection.  I thought, "What a heavenly creature! She knows where she came from. This baby is truly filled with the Light of God!"

At Easter, my SIL, Lynnie confided in me that when she visited Charlotte, she whispered to her, "You saw Him, didn't you?" She said suddenly Charlotte lifted her head and eyes upward and paused there quietly.   

Many people ask me, "What's the extent of Charlotte's brain damage? Her deficits? The long-term predictions?

I do not care nor dare to know the answers to those questions.  Oh sure, I can spew the medical lingo as well as anyone.  I can profess to know about the complexities of the brain and what's to be expected. Normally, I am pretty smart and savvy -don't  pull any punches. I am a "shoot from the hip", reality-based type of person when it comes to medical issues.  But I confess to you now that I am none of those things when it comes to this baby. Charlotte Rose cleaned my clock, flipped my lid and rocked my world!  She simply tossed aside any logic or intelligence I thought I had and replaced in with sheer faith. 

So my friends, just like the other followers of Jesus, I stand before you a person transformed by God's grace and mercy - disarmed and vulnerable, a mere mortal in the midst of a divine plan. 


- the book & website below is a vivid account of another child who had a near death experience.  Heaven Is for Real is the true story of a four-year old son of a small town Nebraska pastor who experienced heaven during emergency surgery. 

*This song came to mind as well- Laura Izibor "Shine" Let The Sun Shine On Your Face